This article was provided by MINES affiliate Trainer Laura Greco

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…. or is it?

If you find the winter holidays stressful, you are not alone. According to the American Psychological Association (APA) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), almost 90% of Americans find the winter holidays stressful. At least 40% describe the holidays with both positive and negative words. 79% of people admit to neglecting their physical and/or mental health during holidays. And almost 50% report that stress interferes with their enjoyment of the festivities.

Common sources of holiday stress include:

Finances – Gifts, travel, entertaining, and donations can add up quickly.

Gift exchanges – Besides the cost of the gift, there is the time put into finding, buying, and wrapping gifts, worrying about how your gift will be received (especially if it is for someone you don’t know well), and dreading having to fake enthusiasm for a gift you receive and don’t like or want.

Family dynamics – The fact that we love them doesn’t mean they don’t get on our nerves. Tension can run high when families are crammed together. We are forced to experience different values, viewpoints, customs, manners, and often reenact childhood roles (the diva, drama queen, peace maker, button pusher, goody two-shoes, bully, comic…) and childhood responses.

Travel – Travel is time-consuming, exhausting, expensive, and comes at a time when time, money, and patience are limited.

expectations – The media portrays the holidays as glowing, loving, beautiful, and perfect. Real life can look messy, chaotic, and resemble a bad comedy skit. Perceived and real expectations may make us feel obligated to say yes to every party, cookie exchange, or festive gathering, and that we need to craft social media-worthy moments day after day. And the barrage of traditions that don’t align with your beliefs may cause irritation or a sense of feeling left out.

overscheduling – It is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. Whether hosting or attending, shopping, decorating, baking, or visiting, time is at a premium. We may let our habits of exercise, cooking, practicing gratitude, getting enough sleep, meditating, or enjoying downtime lapse.

loneliness and grief – It’s common to remember those we no longer have in our lives, traditions we no longer practice, and dreams that have passed. We may compare our lives to those portrayed in the media and feel less than, lonely, or sad.

disrupted routines – During the holidays, it is common to stray from our usual daily habits. We may eat more sugary, fatty, and less nutritious foods. We may cut corners on sleep. We may not get as much exercise, time outside, or time alone. These seemingly minor disruptions add up, affecting our mood, patience, and energy.

less daylight and colder weather – Even those who love winter may feel the lack of daylight and colder temperatures affect their mood, productivity, and energy.

‘Tis the season for multiple, concurrent, and seemingly contradictory emotions. It can be exhilarating and stressful, joyous and sad. You may feel anticipation with dread, resentment with hope, frustration with joy, anxiety and comfort, sadness and happiness, and guilt with relief. Trying to process the jumble of conflicting emotions can be stressful.

When we feel stress, our nervous system kicks into survival mode. In this state, it is harder to be patient, see the big picture, tolerate frustrations, and relax and enjoy. But we can learn to calm ourselves, regaining the ability to be compassionate, kind, less judgmental, and think before we lash out or shut down.

Craft a plan to handle your holiday stress before the holidays arrive. Decide how you want to allocate your time, energy, and money based on your values and priorities during this season.

  • Make a list of everything you do and don’t like about the holidays. Emphasize doing the parts you like and see if you can minimize the parts you don’t like.
  • Notice the holiday moments that bring you joy or comfort and practice gratitude for those.
  • Schedule time for regular grounding or centering activities such as time in nature, journaling, yoga, mindful moments, slow relaxation breathing, and practicing self-compassion.
  • Create new personalized traditions that meet your needs.
  • Simplify and streamline.
  • Say no. Decline joining the cookie or gift exchange, pass on happy hour, turn down the invitation for a marathon shopping day.
  • Commit to following an appropriate sleep schedule and making mostly healthy food choices.
  • Favor experiences over things; happiness is generated during periods of focus and engagement.
  • Practice responding instead of reacting. Pause, and put some space between your trigger and your response. Use your Mona Lisa smile as you resist taking the bait.

In the moment of stress, try some of the following techniques.

  • Let your breath calm you. Relaxation breathing consists of several rounds of slow, full, relaxed belly breaths with a long gentle exhale.
  • Talk yourself through stress: state when you feel stressed and that you have been stressed before and have skills to manage it. Name one thing you can do right now to help mitigate stress.
  • Take breaks from the hustle and bustle.
  • Take a moment to enjoy a calming scent or essential oil.
  • Move, dance, or jump to process your stress.
  • Reframe the situation, looking for alternative explanations, humor, and bright spots.
  • View the situation as a challenge or puzzle to solve. (This changes your brain chemicals and lets you see the situation differently.)
  • Change what you can and accept what you can’t change.
  • Try to avoid comparing yourself to others (especially social media posts that may or may not be an accurate representation of their life).
  • Remember that the holidays will pass.

You are not alone if you feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the holidays. Make thriving this season your goal, instead of just surviving, by being proactive in creating your holidays and managing stress.

To Your Wellbeing,

The MINES Team

Author bio:

Laura Greco helps professionals create life balance and joy through coaching and speaking. After practicing nursing for 20+ years she shifted to coaching, guiding people through simple changes that allow them to live with more meaning and less stress.

She manages her stress during the holidays by eliminating most decorating and bakes instead!

Laura’s books include Wellness Made Simple and Wellness Made Simple for Residents. Her website is www.youbloomwellness.com