Every March, we commemorate Self-Harm Awareness Month, a chance to spread both accurate information and empathy for the millions of people around the world who self-harm.

Self-harm isn’t a sign of weakness, nor is it a moral wrongdoing. People who self-harm do so primarily because their internal pain feels so overwhelming that causing themselves physical harm feels like the only way to deal with it.

Walking away from self-harm can feel confusing and scary, but there is hope. Ensuring that you have access to the right mental health resources can make this process feel less frightening and give you a clearer sense of what recovery might look like for you. You are not alone.

Self-harm, or non-suicidal self-injury, isn’t typically suicidal behavior. If you or a loved one is having thoughts about suicide, or if you’ve accidentally injured yourself more seriously than intended, contact emergency services right away.

How to help yourself if you self-harm

Stopping self-harm isn’t usually a simple decision to make. Most people are ambivalent about it. You may deeply want to learn how to cope in a different way. Maybe you feel embarrassed about your scars, or you don’t want to worry your loved ones. You want to treat yourself with the love and kindness that, deep down, you know you deserve.

At the same time, another side of you may feel afraid of having to handle painful emotions without the release of self-harm. This may have been how you’ve dealt with pain since you were young.

But many people have successfully stopped self-harming, especially with the right support. Even if you’re only ready to take small steps toward that goal, there are ways to keep yourself safe.

If you still self-harm

If you still self-harm and aren’t ready to fully walk away, take these steps to minimize risk and keep yourself as safe as possible.

  • Tell someone you love and trust. This could be a partner, a family member, a close friend, or even a coworker who understands what you’re going through. Letting someone know creates a layer of safety because they can check in with you and help you feel less alone.
  • Learn how to sanitize and care for wounds. Cleaning cuts or burns right away reduces the risk of infection. Using clean tools and proper bandaging protects your skin and helps you avoid medical complications that could slow your overall healing.
  • Call 911 or go to an emergency room if you hurt yourself worse than you intended. Most self-harm is not a suicide attempt, but accidents happen. If bleeding doesn’t stop or the wound is deeper than expected, medical care is critical.
  • Practice using other coping and distraction strategies as much as possible, even if you still end up self-harming sometimes. It can be helpful to prove to yourself that you have the ability to cope in different ways.
  • Talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you explore the emotional pattern and underlying mental health conditions behind your urges. They can help you gain new skills and confidence in yourself so that you feel good about no longer depending on self-harm to cope.

It can also be helpful to think about what it would mean for you to be able to stop self-harming. What could life look like if you were able to walk away? What would it take for you to get there? Reflecting on these questions can help guide you toward making the decision to stop when you’re ready.

If you want to reduce or quit self-harm

Deciding to quit self-harm is a courageous first step that reflects how much you value yourself and those around you. You can use these strategies to distract yourself and ride the wave of urges when they come on.

  • Physical grounding: Cold sensations like holding an ice cube or splashing your face with ice water slow the urge long enough for your body to settle. It’s a quick way to interrupt that rush of intensity, and it can also offer a similar release.
  • Movement: Exercise, like fast walking or dancing, can help your body burn through adrenaline, and it also doesn’t make you feel worse afterwards. Try something intense, like sprinting around the block.
  • Sensory distraction: Sometimes, the best way to cope with an urge is to distract your mind. Strong smells or textured objects can pull your attention out of the urge. For example, you might knead a stress ball or give yourself a foot massage.
  • Writing out the urge: Putting your thoughts on paper makes the urge feel less chaotic. You can see what’s happening internally without acting on it. Journaling can be a great way to understand yourself and your triggers better.
  • Reaching out to someone: You don’t need to go through this alone. A short text or call can interrupt the isolation that often makes urges stronger.
  • Reflecting on your “why”: When you’re tempted to go back to self-harm, reminding yourself why you want to stop can give you something solid to hold onto. Center the version of yourself that you’re working toward.

How to access professional help for self-harm

Getting professional help is one of the most important steps toward reducing or stopping self-harm. Research suggests that getting professional support early on, soon after an episode, can be most helpful.

A therapist can help you:

  • Understand the emotional function self-harm has served so you can replace it with safer tools that still give you relief.
  • Track early warning signs that show up in your thoughts or your body before an urge hits. When you can intervene earlier, you’re less likely to get caught in the cycle.
  • Learn new coping skills that match your daily life so you’re not relying on willpower alone. This might include avoiding triggers, especially at first.
  • Explore past experiences, like traumatic memories, that might make urges feel more intense.
  • Build tolerance for strong emotions so they feel less frightening and overwhelming.
  • Create a personalized safety plan with clear steps for times when the urges feel overwhelming.

Your employee assistance program is here to help

If you or a loved one self-harms to cope, MINES — your employee assistance program (EAP) — is here to support you.

MINES & Associates EAP is available to you at any time. You can call us day or night, 24/7, for confidential counseling if you’re struggling with urges to self-harm or if you feel overwhelmed or scared by your thoughts. We can connect you with further resources and support if you need more long-term care. If you share a home with others, they can use the EAP as well.

Take advantage of this free resource and get in touch with us today.

To Your Wellbeing,

The MINES Team